FF IX Unedited Edition (TM)
by Love Monkey
Summary: This is the parody of when The Prima Vista crash landed in the Evil Forest R+R!! Warning: Me and my friends were smoked too many joints this dayrofl


  
Session Start: Mon May 28 18:40:28 2001  
Kaijo FINAL FANTASY  
Kaijo EPISODE 9  
Kaijo The Dark Messenger  
Kaijo It is a period of peace between the three kingdoms of Burmecia, Alexandria, and Lindblum.  
Kaijo A small group of bandits named Tantalus has schemed to kidnap the babalicious princess of Alexandria, Princess Garnet.  
Kaijo After succeeding with their plan, the thieves bravely escaped the clutches of Brahne, Alexandria's queen. But their ship is badly damaged, and the Prima Vista crashlands in the depths of Evil Forest...  
Kaijo --------  
* Zidane gets up off the ground  
* Zidane runs to the broken prima vista  
Zidane whoa...! where's Garnet?   
* Zidane goes inside the ship  
* Zidane looks around to find the entire thing destroyed  
* Vivi raises himself off of the ground, and looks at Princess Garnet. The two are stranded away from the Prima Vista, after being thrown away by the explosion. He looks at Garnet with wide, yellow eyes.  
Vivi A-Are you all right?  
Dagger i think so.  
* Zidane runs back out  
* Zidane goes into the forest  
* Vivi looks around, suddenly noticing a large, green creature swinging from branch to branch towards the pair.  
Vivi Um. I think we better haul some ass.  
Dagger ahh!! what is that?  
Vivi I don't wanna find out!  
* Vivi grabs Garnet's hand with his large gloved one, and halfway drags her through the forest away from the creature.  
* Steiner stands and looks around for Princess Garnet when he's suddenly passed by Zidane.  
Steiner You!  
Steiner Halt!  
* Zidane stops  
Zidane what?  
* Steiner runs up to Zidane, armor clinking.  
Steiner Where are you going?!  
Zidane going to find Garnet! what are YOU doing?!  
Steiner What else? Looking for the Princess!  
Steiner We must make haste!!  
Zidane you lost her?!  
Zidane oh man.. some knight you are!  
Steiner YOU lost her!!  
Zidane whatever, I'll be the one to save her too  
Steiner Bah!  
* Zidane runs off without saying another word into the forest  
Steiner Alexandria would be disgraced if a mere thei -- WAIT!  
* Baku starts making repairs on the ship  
* Steiner runs after Zidane, his armor clinking and chinking and making all kinds of annoying sounds.  
* Zidane stops  
Zidane LOOK!!  
Kaijo --- When the pair of Zidane and Steiner arrived at the scene, Vivi was laying on the ground, trembling and staring at a plant cage which held Princess Garnet. ---  
Zidane GArnet!!  
Steiner Princess!!  
* Dagger needs healed badly  
* Zidane pulls out his 2 short swords  
* Steiner pulls a small bottle from his belt, and throws it at Garnet. It explodes on impact of her body, spreading the potion over her body, healing her.  
Zidane common rusty lets take em!!  
* Dagger opens her eyes  
* Steiner pulls out his broadsword, and stands beside Zidane.  
* Zidane suddenly starts to glow a strange light  
* Steiner turns to stare at Zidane.  
Steiner Dude. What'chu smokin'?  
Steiner You're like radiating.  
Zidane hell if i know, I feel alot stronger when im like this though  
Steiner Nifty.  
Zidane well.. lets get em!  
Steiner Yeah!  
* Steiner points at the plant.  
Steiner WHO'S j0 DADDY!?  
* Steiner leaps at the cage and slashes at it.  
* Cage pulls its vines up and takes energy from dagger  
* Steiner lops off a vine while slashing.  
* Zidane throws his swords outward and and casts free energy on the plant  
* Cage pulls his left whip around and smacks steiner  
* Steiner frowns.  
Steiner sumbitch.  
* Cage pulls his right whip around and smacks zidane  
Zidane doh!  
* Steiner uses Minus Strike on the cage.  
* Cage starts to weaken  
* Cage takes more energy from garnet  
* Steiner throws another potion at Garnet.  
* Dagger is low on hp  
* Dagger is not low on hp  
* Zidane again casts free energy on Cage  
* Cage lopes around  
Zidane go on rusty! one more outta do em in!  
* Steiner runs up to the cage and pokes its eye out with his sword.  
Steiner BOOYA  
* Cage falls over  
* Cage jumps outta the fight with garnet still in the cage  
Steiner NOOO YOU PANSY  
* Dagger is gone  
* Steiner falls on the ground, and begins to hit the ground with his fists.  
* Zidane turns back over to vivi  
* Steiner curses repeatedly.  
Zidane hey you ok?!  
* Vivi stands up, and nods.  
Vivi S-Sorry...I was afraid.  
* Zidane turns back to steiner... theres little kids around yOU!  
* Steiner stops.  
Steiner Oh...my bad.  
* Steiner goes back to censor-swearing.  
* Cage swoops outta the air and snags vivi  
* Baku hits his hand with a hammer while repairing the ship  
Baku awwww FUCK!  
Vivi AHHH YOU SON OF A BITCH PUT ME DOWN!  
* Vivi casts Fire on the damned thing.  
* Zidane gets his swords around again  
Kaijo --- Battle Message: Magic Seems Effective ---  
* Cage takes energy from Vivi  
* Zidane runs up and smacks CAge  
Vivi OH YOU DID NOT  
* Vivi jumps up and down on the thing's head.  
* Cage shakes his head  
Vivi PUT! *stomp* ME! *stomp* DOWN! *stomp stomp stomp*  
Zidane rusty!! get your ass up and help me!  
* Steiner runs up and slashes at the cage.  
* Zidane slashes Cage  
* Cage takes another bit of energy from Vivi  
* Vivi drops to the bottom of the cage, weakened severely.  
Kaijo --- Battle Message: Vivi's HP: 4/60 ---  
* Cage whip snaps steiner  
* Steiner quickly throws a potion at Vivi before being whipsnapped.  
Kaijo --- Battle Message: Vivi's HP: 60/60 ---  
* Vivi casts a prototype Fira at the cage.  
* Cage is weakened  
* Zidane steals a potion from cage  
Zidane finish it off!  
* Vivi casts Blizzard on the Cage, freezing it.  
* Vivi blinks.  
* Cage is frozen  
Vivi I'm like...uh...stuck.  
* Zidane looks at the dumbstruck steiner  
Zidane fine.. i'll do it  
* Zidane runs up and slashs the beast  
* Steiner shakes his head.  
Steiner Hey.  
Steiner I'd like to see *YOU* get nailed in the balls by a tentacle.  
* Cage falls to the ground  
* Vivi rolls out of the cage.  
Zidane u got armor there you moron...  
Vivi whee  
Zidane well... we got em  
Steiner But remember. This is cheap shitty armor.  
Zidane get up rusty.. it's dead  
* Steiner groans and slowly stands up.  
* Cage in a last attempt sprays out seeds at all three of em  
Steiner AHHHHHh  
* Zidane backflips outta the way  
* Steiner falls to the ground with little green shit hanging offa him.  
Steiner P-Princess...  
Zidane oh no!  
* Vivi falls to the ground also seed-ed.  
* Zidane thinks about garnet... where could she be?  
Zidane oh damnit! whoops  
Kaijo --- Both Vivi and Steiner are unconscious from the spray. --  
* Zidane drags em both back to the prima vista  
Kaijo --- Zidane takes both Vivi and Steiner back to the Prima Vista, and places them in different rooms. Steiner, always stubborn, attempts to escape from the ship to rescue the Princess. ---  
Marcus hey where you goin?!  
Marcus those seeds are still in your body, we need to get them out  
Steiner You moron.  
Steiner I need to go save the most babalicious beauty in all of Alexandria.  
Marcus your cracked  
Steiner Am not!  
* Steiner trips and rolls down the stairs.  
Steiner ouch  
* Marcus pushes steiner into the storage room and hands him the drink to remove the seeds  
Steiner I ain't takin this shit.  
Steiner It looks like urine.  
Marcus either take it.. or the princess is gonna bite the dust  
Steiner Oh...all right...  
Marcus you will too  
* Marcus shuts the door and locks it  
* Steiner takes the medicine.  
* Marcus stands beside it  
Steiner Hey...not bad...  
* Steiner puts the drink down.  
Steiner HEY YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH LET ME OUTTA HERE  
Marcus calm down  
Steiner ...  
* Steiner sits down on a stool.  
* Steiner finds a Garnet doll.  
* Steiner reads the writing on it.  
Steiner 'Princess Garnet; Age 16!?'  
Steiner ((oh yeah...fifteen. my bad.))  
Steiner How dare they write the Princess's name on such a ragged ugly doll?!  
Steiner It's got holes in strategic places in it...  
Steiner .......  
Steiner EW!  
* Steiner throws it down.  
* Blank walks into the room that vivi is sleeping in  
* Vivi slowly wakes up and looks at Blank.  
Vivi Yes?  
Blank here take this  
* Blank hands him the bottle  
Vivi Do I hafta?  
Blank yes  
Blank take it  
Blank now  
Blank hurry  
Blank chug chug chug!  
* Vivi takes it and chugs.  
* Vivi nearly spits it out but doesn't.  
* Vivi swallows.  
Vivi Eww...eyuck.  
Narrator meanwhile Zidane is talking to Baku about going to get garnet back  
Zidane common we just can't leave her out there!!  
Baku ..  
Baku you can go...  
Baku on one condition  
Zidane what's that?  
Baku defeat me  
Zidane dah.. cause of me breaking rules right?  
Baku exactly  
Zidane you and your damn rules... fine.. lets get this over with  
* Baku pulls his sword out  
* Zidane pulls out his two swords  
Narrator The fight begins  
* Baku stares at his time bar, GO FASTER DAMN YOU!  
* Zidane charges at Baku and strikes  
* Baku is hit but not damaged that badly  
* Baku runs up and slashes at zidane  
Zidane damn your slow!  
* Zidane is hit  
--- Battle Message: Baku: "Get some!" ---  
* Zidane stands his position  
* Zidane readys  
* Zidane runs and strikes Baku  
* Baku is wounded  
* Baku runs up and hits zidane with the hilt of his sword  
* Zidane is hit but still goin  
* Zidane readys  
* Zidane steals a potion  
* Baku is stolen from  
* Baku slashes zidane again  
Kaijo --- Battle Message: Baku: "WHO'S YOUR DADDY!?" ---  
* Zidane uses the potion  
* Zidane recovers HP  
* Baku runs at zidane but falls  
Kaijo --- Battle Message: Baku: "ARGH!" ---  
* Zidane falls outta position and laughs, clumsy numbnut!  
* Zidane runs up and strikes baku  
* Baku is wounded badly  
Zidane had enough?  
Baku *huff huff*  
Zidane heh heh  
* Baku is defeated  
* Zidane sheaths his swords  
* Moogle is right in front of zidane  
Moogle ...conviniently  
Zidane whoa.. can i save my game?  
Moogle let's save kupo!  
* Moogle saves the game  
Narrator game saved  
Moogle i want mail, kupo!  
Zidane i ain't got none for ya...cept this.  
* Zidane gives the moogle a porn magazine.  
Moogle Kupo! Thanks!  
Zidane *mumbledamn mooglemumble*  
* Moogle grumbles  
Moogle same to you *gives the finger*  
* Moogle runs off  
Zidane well boss... im gonna go get the black mage and the knight to go get the princess  
Baku fine..  
* Zidane runs back down to vivi's room  
Zidane hey.. little dude.. get up  
* Vivi sits on the edge of his bed, his thoughts elsewhere.  
Zidane your magic did pretty good against that monster... will you come help me look for garnet?  
* Vivi shakes his head.  
Vivi O-Oh...I'm sorry. Sure.  
Zidane well... get on up and lets go  
Zidane we gotta go get rusty first  
* Vivi nods, hops off the bed, and begins to follow Zidane.  
Zidane some knight he is  
Vivi Are you serious?  
Zidane yeah, i guess I am  
* Zidane goes down the hall and too steiners room  
Zidane RUSTY!! get your cracked ass up!!  
* Steiner kicks the door and it flies open, barely missing Zidane's head.  
Zidane nice shot  
Steiner I am Captain Adelbert Steiner of Alexandria's Knights of Pluto.  
Steiner You shall address me as Captain and not Rusty or Crackass.  
Zidane ok..  
Zidane how about rusted crackass?  
Steiner Grr...  
* Steiner shakes his fists at Zidane.  
Zidane or cracked up the ass?  
Zidane anyway  
Zidane we need to go get garnet back!  
Steiner Like you have a lot of room to talk, monkeybutt!  
* Zidane raises a brow  
Zidane well, you gonna come or not?  
Steiner Yes, I shall accompany you.  
Zidane leave the weed here if your gonna come  
Zidane blank might like it  
Steiner But keep in mind. I shall deal with you later.  
Zidane yeah yeah.. whatever lets go  
* Steiner turns and yells at Blank.  
Steiner HEY BLANK!  
Steiner Want some crack?  
Blank nahh im cool  
* Blank shoots up  
Steiner You sure?  
Blank ahhhh.....  
Blank yeah im fine  
Steiner k.  
Zidane hey blank, can you gimme one of those potions?  
Zidane for garnet  
Vivi Mr. Zidane.  
Blank eh what kinda potion?  
Zidane whoa!  
Zidane just Zidane kid...   
Blank i got lots  
Zidane the kinda that removes the seeds outta yer ass....  
Vivi I don't think even a love potion will help you get in Princess Garnet's pants.  
Vivi It's pretty hopeless.  
Zidane um.. uh...   
Zidane right...  
* Blank throws zidane the potion, and a bottle of horny goat weed  
* Zidane turns to vivi  
Zidane who needs a potion?  
* Zidane gives the weed to steiner  
Vivi You'd need fifty of them just to get her to hug you.  
Zidane yer gonna need that my friend  
Steiner Ooh! Yay!  
* Steiner lights up.  
Blank eh thats horny goat weed  
Zidane ack!!  
Steiner . . .   
* Zidane runs outta the ship  
* Steiner leaps on Blank.  
Dagger ((lol))  
* Steiner begins to hump him.  
* Blank kicks him off  
Steiner baaaaaa  
Steiner ouchies.  
Blank get outta here ya damned cracka  
* Blank in reality is actually black  
* Zidane yells back to blank as he is running off, "THATS RUSTED CRACKASS!!"  
* Steiner shakes his ass at Blank as he follows after Zidane.  
* Blank shudders  
* Blank shoots up again  
Vivi Hey...Mr. Blank...can I have some?  
* Blank throws vivi a needle  
Vivi What do I do with this?  
* Zidane looks at the potion and stops...  
Blank jab it into your juggular  
Dagger Narration: in the meantime the princess is slowly getting closer to death whilst these crackheads lollygag around...  
Vivi Oh.  
Vivi Okay.  
* Vivi stabs it into his jugular.  
Vivi AHHHHHhh  
Vivi that felt good  
* Vivi does it againl  
Zidane wha?! "Put a blank in your ass"?!  
Vivi oh hell yes.  
* Vivi goes around shooting up.  
Vivi anyway.  
Vivi ZZZZIIIDDDDAAANNNNE  
Vivi Let's go get the princess before she wastes away!!!  
Zidane where's crackass at?  
* Blank watches the doped up fools walk off  
Zidane I ain't doped!! *shoots*  
* Steiner continues to hit on Genero.  
* Blank puts a metal plate around his waist  
Blank you stay away from me   
Steiner So...you wanna go with me to a secret place...?  
  
--- Due to disconnection, this part of the log was lost... ---  
  
* Zidane throws the potion at Garnet  
* Blank starts out after tghem with some more potions  
* Blank kills some random monsters on the way there  
* Moogle does backflips  
Zidane I wish those other 2 would hurry it up!  
* Moogle puts on a top hat and tap dances with a kain  
* Vivi runs ala the Six Million Dollar Man and arrives beside Zidane.  
Zidane bout time  
Zidane where's rusty?!  
* Steiner runs up and slams into Zidane.  
Steiner Oops. Sorry.  
Zidane oww!!  
Zidane there you are... figured you were rapin a tree or something  
Zidane GArnet!! Hang on! were coming to get you out of there!  
* Vivi holds out his hands and Thundaras the plant brain.  
Vivi take that you dirty perverted asshole.  
Vivi Trying to assrape the princess...  
PlantBrain Blrrrg!!! translation: and your point?  
* Vivi Firas the plant brain.  
Vivi You don't DO That to royal babes!!  
* PlantBrain fired  
* Zidane runs up and slices the plant  
* Vivi runs up to the Plant brain and vaporizes the thing's genitals witha lightning bolt.  
Vivi YOU DON'T DO THAT TO PEOPLE PERIOD  
* PlantBrain dies bleh bleh  
* Blank arrives  
* Blank hands everyone a potion  
* Vivi turns to Blank.  
Vivi Took you long enough.  
Vivi Got more stuff?  
PlantBrain *everyone is encountered by a few plants dudes*  
PlantBrain **there all taken out by the great zidane**  
Vivi **AND the assistance of Master Vivi**  
PlantBrain **steiner's drunk ass is carrying princess garnet**  
* Blank starts running throught the forest with everyone  
* Steiner grabs a few places he shouldn't while carrying Garnet.  
PlantBrain *the forest starts to turn to stone*  
* Dagger is unconscious... luckily for steiner  
* Zidane is thrown the map from blank... blank gets stoned  
* Zidane dives through before it gets petrified  
* Zidane pounds on the wall... Blank, you sorry peice of crap! you gave me the wrong map!!  
Vivi He did?  
Vivi Oh, well then. We're fucked.  
Zidane oh well..  
Zidane luckily i have the right one right here  
Vivi Which one did he give you?  
Vivi The map to Dallas?  
* Zidane looks at the page from blank  
Zidane ewww! Human anatamy?!?!  
* Zidane throws it away  
Zidane rusty?  
Vivi Eww.  
Dagger lol  
* Steiner stops fondling Garnet and looks up.  
Steiner Yes?  
Zidane stop raping the wall.. it's stone  
Steiner Oh. Sorry.  
Zidane put her down...  
* Steiner lays Garnet down.  
* Zidane pulls steiner back  
Zidane i know yer about to jump her...  
Zidane so... no  
* Steiner frowns.  
Steiner I was just about to put her in a tent...  
Zidane yeah.. right  
* Steiner throws Zidane aside, and picks Garnet up. He takes her to a tent set up by Vivi, and lays Garnet in it.  
Zidane vivi.. pull em out...  
* Vivi nods and drags Steiner out.  
Zidane ok... we all need to set up a tent  
Vivi Got'cha covered.  
* Vivi points at the tent for himself and a tent for Zidane.  
Zidane we'll be heading above the mist tomorrow  
Vivi Steiner can stay out here and hump the trees.  
Zidane thanks vivi  
Zidane hehe.. yeah  
* Steiner frowns.  
Steiner The horny goat weed has worn off, assholes.  
Zidane so.. we'll be going to the ice cave tomorrow  
Zidane that's some STRONG shit!  
* Steiner nods.  
Zidane well.. we need to get an early start tomorrow  
Steiner Want some?  
Zidane so... goto sleep  
* Steiner nods, and throws the weed away.  
* Zidane check on garnet  
Steiner Can't risk gettin too horny again.  
Zidane shes seems ok...   
* Steiner goes on patrol around the camp like a dutiful knight.  
* Dagger opens her eyes  
* Dagger stretches  
* Zidane is asleep in his tent  
Dagger ahh.. i feel much better now  
* Zidane hears a scream  
Zidane damn... steiner must've gotten stuck in the tree again...  
* Vivi is sitting by the fire, his head in his hands, staring deep into the fire. The flames reflect from his eyes.  
* Zidane goes back to sleep  
* Steiner attempts to pull himself from a hole in the tree trunk.  
Steiner AHH!  
Steiner THAT HURTS!  
* Vivi ignores Steiner.  
* Steiner slowly and tenderly pulls himself out.  
* Dagger sits up  
Steiner ouch...  
* Steiner whines.  
* Vivi continues to stare into the flames, his thoughts elsewhere. Internally, Vivi debates existance and life, what he's gonna do with his.  
* Dagger peeks out of her tent  
* Dagger doesnt see steiner around..  
* Dagger stealthily crawls out  
* Steiner zips back up and goes back to camp to patrol.  
* Dagger crawls over behind a tent and looks in  
* Dagger whispers to herself.. "its zidane"  
* Zidane is just sleepin  
* Dagger crawls in his tent  
* Steiner hears tents ruffle.  
* Zidane slowly opens his eyes  
* Steiner goes on alert, and begins to look around quickly.  
* Dagger crawls in his sleepin bag  
* Dagger giggles  
Dagger hey zidane  
* Steiner gets an idea.  
Zidane whoa! *ahem*  
Zidane garnet! heya  
* Steiner begins to run towards Zidane's tent, drawing his sword. His armor chinks, giving away his movements with ease.  
Dagger im feeling great..whatever blank gave me did the trick.  
* Dagger gasps  
Dagger its steiner  
* Dagger hides under zidanes sleeping bag  
* Zidane roles on top of garnet "keep quiet"  
* Steiner stabs his sword into the tent, ripping it off the ground and throwing it into the air.  
Steiner WHAT ON GAIA ARE YOU DOING!?!  
Zidane uh.. trying to sleep rusty  
* Dagger pokes zidane and giggles inaudibly  
Steiner ....  
Steiner You weren't doing anything, were you!?  
* Zidane squirms  
Zidane no.. i wasn't  
* Steiner blinks.  
Steiner What's that under your bag!!  
* Steiner reaches down and pulls out a scroll.  
Steiner GAH  
* Steiner throws it down.  
Steiner Pornography!!!  
Zidane yeah....  
* Dagger pokes zidane  
Zidane I guess you can have it  
Steiner And in the presence of Princess Garnet!!!  
Zidane no way!  
Zidane lookin at that helps me dream good stuff  
Steiner Hmph.  
Steiner Whatever.  
Zidane like just now I was dreaming of some girl from lindblum  
Zidane whatever rusty... just go away eh?  
Steiner I'm not hearing this...  
* Steiner hmphs.  
* Steiner turns heel and walks away to patrol some more.  
Zidane *mumblego hump a tree or somethingmumble*  
* Dagger squirms around under zidane  
Zidane whoa!  
Dagger hey you can get off now!  
* Zidane rolls off  
* Dagger pops her head back out from under his sleeping bag  
Dagger ive always wanted to know what you kept in those bags!  
Zidane oh!  
Zidane that was my flashlight  
* Zidane pulls out a flashlight  
Dagger dont turn it on...  
Dagger might attract steiner  
Dagger id better go back to my tent....  
Zidane oh yeah  
* Vivi looks up, noticing Dagger and Zidane. His heart sags, and his eyes become downcast. "I'll never be able to have anything like that happen to me..." he says internally, sighing. He turns his eyes back to the fire, the flames dancing around in his eyes as well his mind.  
* Dagger looks around.  
Dagger he'll be back..  
Zidane wait!  
Zidane no.. don't leave  
Dagger he ripped up the tent..  
Zidane just stay here a little longer... i just wanna... talk  
Zidane who cares  
Zidane your the one who can tell him what to do  
Zidane he'll do whatever you say  
* Dagger calls out HEY STEINER!  
Zidane what?!?!  
* Steiner spins around.  
* Dagger gets up  
* Steiner runs up to Princess Garnet.  
Dagger pretend youre alseep zidane  
* Steiner doesn't even notice Zidane.  
Steiner Yes, your highness!?  
* Zidane acts like he's asleep  
Dagger steiner..  
Steiner Yes?  
Dagger would you mind running over there *points* and seeing if theres any water or something?  
* Dagger knows that the stream is in the opposite direction  
Steiner Of course, your highness!  
* Steiner turns and runs in the direction pointed by Garnet.  
Zidane wow.. smart  
* Dagger laughs..  
* Zidane opens up the sleeping bag  
Dagger that should keep him for a while  
Dagger come down to my tent zidane  
Dagger i...have a tent  
Zidane now can we talk?  
Dagger hehe  
Zidane oh... right!  
* Zidane gets up  
* Vivi looks up, and hears Garnet say something about water. He slowly stands up and pulls out a canteen full of cold water. He slowly and shyly begins to walk towards Garnet.  
* Vivi stops in front of Garnet, and looks up at her.  
* Vivi raises the canteen up to her.  
Vivi Here...  
* Dagger takes it  
Dagger thanks..  
Zidane yeah vivi  
Zidane you should goto sleep now  
* Dagger takes a drink of it so she didnt look rude  
* Dagger wasnt thirsty, however  
* Vivi nods, and walks back to the fire.  
* Dagger whispers to zidane "come on"  
* Dagger tugs on his tail  
* Dagger grins  
* Zidane jumps up a little  
Zidane *tongue hangs out..* yes yer highness heh heh  
* Dagger walks back to her tent  
* Vivi lays down in front of the fire, and sighs. His large mage hat still stays on his head as he stares into the depths of the fire. His mind continues to wander, wondering if he'll ever really have a meaning to life. He doesn  
* Zidane follows  
* Dagger sits down on her sleeping bag  
* Vivi lays down in front of the fire, and sighs. His large mage hat still stays on his head as he stares into the depths of the fire. His mind continues to wander, wondering if he'll ever really have a meaning to life. He doesn't remember anything about his parents or where he's from. He doesn't even know if he has a family or a home. These things plague Vivi's mind terribly as he slowly drifts to sleep.  
Kaijo --- Meanwhile, while Garnet and Zidane are having ravenous sex in Garnet's tent, Steiner continues to look for water at a non-existant spring... ---  
Steiner AH!!  
Steiner I FOUND IT!!  
* Steiner comes across a spring.  
Steiner damn...took me long enough.  
* Steiner gets some water into a container.  
* Steiner begins to haul ass back to camp.  
PlantBrain Steiner realizes that he had ran ALL the way around the world to find that one spring of water in the opposite direction garnet pointed  
Steiner ...  
Steiner I KNEW I thought I saw Burmecia...  
Steiner ...  
Steiner shit.  
* Steiner shrugs and continues to haul ass back to evil forest.  
* Steiner arrives in camp in record time.  
* Steiner used The Matrix.  
* Steiner steps out of The Matrix in front of Garnet's tent.  
* Steiner frowns.  
* Steiner taps on the front of Garnet's tent.  
Steiner Princess?  
* Zidane turns  
Zidane uh oh...  
Dagger its steiner  
* Zidane hides under a sleeping bag  
* Dagger lays in front of it  
Dagger y-yes?  
Steiner I brought your water.  
Dagger !!!  
Dagger where did you find it at  
Steiner The spring you pointed out. Where else?  
Dagger oh alright  
* Dagger acts a little confused  
* Dagger gasps and stops suddunly  
* Dagger acts like shes coughing  
Dagger *ahem*  
* Steiner begins to open the flap to the tent.  
* Dagger crawls on top of zidane  
Dagger yes??  
* Steiner opens the flap and holds the canteen of water out to Garnet.  
Dagger bring it here  
* Steiner kneels and crawls inside, handing the canteen to Garnet.  
* Dagger takes it  
Dagger thank you steiner.  
Steiner My duty, your highness.  
* Steiner mini-salutes, and pulls out of the tent.  
* Steiner goes back to patrol.  
* Dagger elbows zidane  
Dagger shh! stop that  
* Dagger closes the tent flap  
* Moogle holds up a sign that says INTERMISSION and dances around  
  
--- During Intermission... ---  
  
* Vivi fries the moogle with a lightning bolt.  
Moogle lets all go to the food stand and have ourselves a snack!  
Vivi damn thing.  
Moogle aaack!!  
* Moogle dies  
Moogle ku...p..o....  
* Vivi picks up the sign  
Vivi intermission over  
  
--- End Intermission ---  
  
* Dagger comes out of the tent and sits by the campfire next to vivi  
Dagger hello, vivi  
* Vivi blinks and turns to Garnet. His large yellow eyes focus on her, his inner turmoil not shown physically, yet his chest feels like it has two solid lead weights in it.  
Vivi Hi...  
Dagger i never got to thank you...for helping to save me  
* Steiner shakes his head.  
Steiner This damn forest is getting on my nerves already.  
* Vivi shakes his head.  
Vivi Don't worry about it...  
Vivi Zidane did most of the work.  
Vivi You should thank him.  
Zidane she will... errr  
Zidane brb  
Dagger well thank you too  
* Vivi shrugs.  
Vivi Anytime.  
* Dagger walks back to her tent  
* Vivi looks back at the fire, and sighs.  
* Irvine walks into a clearing near the Evil Forest, coming from a faraway land and the future. He stumbled into a magical portal and found himself here.  
* Irvine notices a camp.  
* Irvine walks up to it.  
* Irvine pulls his rifle from his holster and holds it up to his shoulder.  
* Irvine notices a very good looking young woman near a tent. He plays with his brown ponytail for a moment, and begins to walk up to her, holstering his rifle.  
* Dagger turns around  
* Dagger raises an eyebrow and just wonders...  
Dagger yes?  
Irvine Hello there.  
Dagger hello  
Dagger who are you?  
Irvine My name's Irvine Kinneas...and you are?  
Dagger princess Garnet til alexandros XVII  
Irvine What's a beautiful princess like you doing out in the wilderness like this? Allow me to escort you back to your castle...  
Dagger no thank you... i left willingly  
Irvine But Princess, there are dangerous things about.  
Dagger steiner is on patrol  
Dagger steiner is my bodyguard  
* Steiner walks up behind the princess.  
Steiner I am.  
* Dagger jumps  
* Dagger turns around  
Dagger steiner you frightened me  
* Irvine begins to laugh wholeheartedly  
Irvine That bucket of bolts!?!  
Irvine Gwahahahahaha!  
Irvine That's a good one!!  
Zidane no way  
* Zidane comes up behind Irvine  
Zidane im her bodyguard  
Steiner I am the Princess's bodyguard and sworn protecter, you infidel.  
* Irvine turns between Zidane and Steiner.  
Irvine You two...losers?  
Zidane back off rusty im the one who rescued her  
* Dagger feels as thought her body is being protected an awful lot _  
Irvine This beautiful lady's bodyguards?  
* Irvine continues to laugh  
Zidane no, just me  
Irvine This is all hilarious.  
* Zidane turns to irvine  
* Vivi walks up to Irvine, and holds out his hands, lightning crackling from his fingers. He places his hands on Irvine's arm, and Irvine flies the opposite direction.  
Vivi Was that funny?  
Dagger wow  
Steiner Well done, Master Vivi!  
* Irvine coughs, and slowly stands from the ground.  
Irvine The hell?  
Vivi Yes; that was me.  
Dagger good job, vivi  
Irvine Okay...instead of fighting...how about we all just get along and escort the princess together...?  
* Irvine uses this ploy to hide his fear of Vivi's power.  
* Dagger looks at vivi, then steiner, then the cowboy.  
Vivi ...  
Vivi Alright.  
Steiner Princess?  
Steiner Do you approve?  
Dagger alirght  
* Zidane jaw drops  
Zidane no way!  
Irvine Well, it's settled. The four of us shall escort the princess wherever she desires to go.  
Zidane i can already tell this guy is gonna be a pain in the ass...  
Irvine You shut the hell up.  
Zidane don't you pull another rusty now!  
Irvine Do what?  
* Zidane pulls out some of that weed steiner had.... and acts like he smokes it  
* Dagger glares at irvine  
Zidane she's gonna tell you off!  
Zidane better run!  
Dagger some people had better learn some manners if they wish to travel with us  
* Dagger looks at irvine like a rich guy at his poodle who just made a doodoo on the white carpet  
* Irvine nods.  
Irvine Y-Yes ma'am!  
Zidane wow, thats a mean look!  
* Irvine whimpers slightly.  
Dagger lol.  
Dagger steiner  
Steiner Yes your highness?  
Dagger from now on you must address me as Dagger  
Steiner Why?  
Dagger we cannot have you calling me "princess" or "your highness" in public, or i will be discovered and taken back to the castle  
Steiner But your highness, we must return!  
Zidane go ahead rusty!  
Steiner If it wasn't for this heathen, you wouldn't be in the danger you are now!  
Dagger steiner  
Dagger !  
Dagger im not going back to the castle  
Dagger not yet  
Dagger you can go, or you can see me safely to lindblum  
* Steiner blinks.  
Steiner I...I shall follow you to the ends of the earth, Princes.  
* Steiner salutes.  
* Zidane does a stupid mimic of steiner  
* Zidane then mouths, i...i shall follow you to the ends of the earth, princess.  
* Steiner backhands Zidane.  
* Zidane bends down to pick up a rock, his head being missed by steiner  
  
--- End RPG ---  
All of use retards at Balamb Garden did this on mIRC!  
The Cast was:   
  
Vivi - Kaijo  
Steiner - Kaijo  
Irvine - Kaijo  
Blank - Cless A.  
Baku - Cless A.  
Enemies - Zidane Tribal  
Zidane - Zidane Tribal  
Marcus - Zidane Tribal  
Garnet - .«†Garnet²¹¹²†». (she's mine!)  
Moogle - .«†Garnet²¹¹²†». (she's MINE!!!! ^^)  
  



End file.
